Date of Award
2004
Degree Type
Thesis
Degree Name
Master of Science in Nursing (MSN)
Department
Nursing
First Advisor
Diane Gerzevitz
Abstract
My personal life trauma experiences during the Khmer Rouge regime are described in this paper along with applications to Constructivist Self Development Theory (CSDT). This theory provides a basis for understanding the interrelatedness of biological and psychological self adaptation necessary to surviving and maintaining a consistent sense of self and the world. Five areas of self that were described in CSDT and which were applicable to my experiences of trauma are as follows:
- Frame of reference: one's ability of understanding self and world, including spirituality. Although I was only seven years old at the time, somehow I understood the events that were taking place, and the consequences of surviving in the Khmer Rouge regime. I would look to the sky and ask a higher being to take me.
- Self-capacities: the capacity to recognize, tolerate, integrate, and maintain a benevolent inner connection with self and others. On April 17, 1975, several men dressed in black uniforms and checkered scarves came and took my father; from the facial expressions of the rest of the family members, I knew that I would never see my father again. I was focused, determined, and fearless of death. Furthermore, I was capable of integrating and coexisting with other children and at the same time maintaining my inner self.
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Ego resources: abilities to be self-observing and abilities in using cognitive and social skills to maintain relationships and protect oneself. My abilities to be self observing were incredible during the Khmer Rouge. I was capable of making necessary changes in my physical appearance, recognizing my psychological and emotional needs, and maintaining my spiritual beliefs in an attempt to integrate with others for the sake of safety and survival.
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Central psychological needs: reflected in disrupted cognitive schemas in five areas that include safety, trust, control, esteem, and intimacy. On April 17, 1975, these five areas of central psychological needs were shattered by the Khmer Rouge, but at the same time I was in control of my life as shown by successfully surviving the ordeal.
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Perceptual and memory system: including biological adaptations and sensory experience. Twenty-four years have past, and the perception of the Khmer Rouge continues to exist deep in my heart and soul. The intrusive dreams, nightmares, and flashbacks come and go, but I have learned to accept them as part of who I am. Writing this paper has confirmed my ability to survive and to live life to the fullest. Writing this paper has also helped me to realize that I must complete my degree as an advanced practice nurse and help those who are still struggling to survive after the Khmer Rouge regime. Knowledge of Cambodian client’s social and cultural history will help me be sensitive to the emotional needs of clients who have endured trauma.
Recommended Citation
Brown, Sara S., "Survival During and After Khmer Rouge" (2004). Open Access Master's Theses. Paper 2463.
https://digitalcommons.uri.edu/theses/2463